Crying is underrated as an emotional behavior. Some men refuse to do it. In many cultures young boys are taught not to do it, “big boys don’t dry” is not just the name of a song. This is unfortunate because the act of crying, shedding water is very cleansing.
The release of pent up emotions allows the body to rebalance. Yes, it is exhausting and afterwards you may feel as though you were run over by a train but there is no other way to relieve anger, frustration or pain that is a safe nonviolent response – except through mindful shedding and release. Tears use the bodies’ natural water to wash away the emotional build up, but it does come with that train factor.
Mindful release on the other hand, works just as well, without the train factor. By visualizing the release of your pain or suffering and then being willing to actually let go, your remaining physical state is one of relief and freedom instead of a train wreck.
The problem is that most people will not let go of their pain even though they say that they want relief from it. Pain becomes a self-identifier, it is familiar, and it is predictable. If “A” happens, then I will feel the painful but predicable “B”. No one likes change, even if it might make us feel better.
Instead, if we give ourselves permission to wallow in the painful emotion for only a limited time, feel the experience in every fiber of our being, allow it to well up and then consciously shed it, the ensuing relief will be healing.
Consider the pressure cooker; with the lid off, the boiling water will eventually fully evaporate. It will take awhile but eventually it is spent. With the lid on with no pressure release (i.e. no crying) then eventually when a tiny crack appears in the seal, an explosion will occur.
On the other hand, if you vent the pressure cooker, the steam will quickly escape and the volume of water remains about the same; it is not completely spent. So it is with mindful release. Open each of your chakras and use them as emotional vents. Allow the pain of relationships to escape out of your second chakra (just below your navel.) Visualize the pain turning orange and releasing. For pain from security needs or lack of material support, visualize red gasses leaving your base chakra (in the pubic region.)
By visualizing the pain as a color, you neutralize it and it goes into the environment purified. Changing it into a color and releasing it also empowers you to gain control of the emotions that once controlled you. What is left afterwards is a sense of weightlessness, lighter, freer. The anvils will be lifted.
Determine the category of the source of your pain and color it appropriately based on its source chakra.
- Red (pubic region) – basic material issues.
- Orange (just below the navel)– relationships
- Yellow (just above the navel) – self esteem, feeling not good enough.
- Green (heart)– loss of a loved one through death, divorce or separation.
- Blue (base of the throat)– anger at ourselves for not being able to speak out against injustices do to ourselves or our loved ones.
The process of classifying the source helps you to understand its control over you. Actually coloring and releasing it gives you your control back, in a loving way. No train wreck feeling afterwards – just relief. While a good cry is temporally cleansing, mindful release is healing.