As children our parents are suppose to teach us how to make
good decisions for ourselves. More often
than not, they make the decision for the children and tell him or her “Do this
because I said so.” This of course
removes the opportunity to learn the decision making process.
Many lower level jobs are designed to remove the possibility
of error by employees by having the administration make all the decisions and
the worker bees carry them out.
Unfortunately as we age, one’s ability to make good decisions is assumed
when this is not always the case.
When one has low self esteem and self love, their confidence
in their own basic ability to make decisions can be shaken. They can be brilliant at what they do for a
career choice, but in their personal lives, they are whipped around by more
confident and manipulative people.
When they do seek out advice which is typical since they do
not trust their own ability, the advice should always be in the form of a
learning opportunity. The Four Noble
Truths of course is the Buddhist decision making tool which works
wonderfully. By walking through this
tool with them and also using the Eightfold Path and Six Perfections, you will
not infringe on their free will to decide for themselves. (Links to information about these teaching
tools http://www.rk-world.org/introlotussutra.aspx
) But remember that just because they
come to the “appropriate” decision, it does not mean they will act upon it at
that moment.
When their own personal pain is unbearable, then they will
act. No one can move them until they are
ready to move themselves. You can
however be supportive during the process.
